Projects, deadlines, parties, graduations, family reunions to plan and or attend... then there is WORK! Ugh... I am ready to go back to the cruise where my big concerns were waking up on time for big breakfast and working on evening out my tan... WTF!
Breath... just breath! One breathe after another and then you can stabilize the blood flow and pull it together. When I start to get overwhelmed with life i get paralyzed... keep breathing! Feel yourself moving with a slow movement through these projects and deadlines that are continually interrupted with life requests...
Getting back to reality. What a harsh sounding phrase today. How I miss my friend... how I miss myself... being all things to all people is a task I am supposed to give up as a new years tradition... Easily said and written on a list... when can I cross it off as done?
Missing friends, family or friends is different from missing ones self. the days when I had the sparkle! When doubt dare not cross the street to where I walked! When I walked, spoke and did ANYTHING I PLEASED! Days of being young foolish and full of myself!
Now I am in a place where he really does call for me. He asks me to be more than smart, beautiful and fun loving of all! How/why has he chosen me now? Why do things have to slip from under me all the time? I hear people who are cancer patients and survivors who never asked why them. Why do I have to walk this road/path? I know it's because there is more for me to do, be and share of how the Lord has blessed me. Why is it in the freest of countries it's feeling so hard to stand on my faith? No government or agency will persecute me for living the life God has chosen yet I stumble and fall...
How funny distracted for a moment by technology but loving the facebook status... "planning, plotting and procrastinating..." So much of me is explained in that line. Loving me for being me is difficult. Loving God for all he is to me is WONDERFUL! thank you for the kick in the pants and the reminder that everymoment we have a choice to love self or love God... I choose to love God and stop procrastinating!
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